She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Floor bacon is actually really good
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
