great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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