I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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