I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Someone signed my nipple.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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