You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
