if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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