And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
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He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
the raccoons are back...
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