): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
