we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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