i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
