I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
