I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am full of burrito and curiosity
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
