Is it because I queefed?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
