Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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