i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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