So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
