no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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