One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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