Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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