she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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