I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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