Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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