Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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