My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
