how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
