Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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