Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
