I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
