I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
