i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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