It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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