So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
