you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
