He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
