You work out of a Hotel?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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