The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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