All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
