youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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