Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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