dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
