Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
