i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
