Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize