I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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