it was like eating out sand paper
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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