the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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