i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
