I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
