i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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