he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
