I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
