My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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