Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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