Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize