We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
