How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
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Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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