I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
