Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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