Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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