okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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