Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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