HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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