so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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