Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
