Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
