what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
