The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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