Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The air was thick with penises
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
