I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
